19 November 2013

Place Unknown, Date Unknown

Ironic Freedom

I am Sad. I am lonely beyond words. I have been crying my heart out but is still not enough to lighten my heart and at least lessen the burden inside. I am sad but I do not know the reason. I am surrounded by people and friends, yet still I am lonely. I am a sinner but instead of being punished I am still being rewarded. I believe in karma, and I have been waiting for it to strike me down for al the transgressions I have committed yet until now fate seems to be dancing in tune with me. I want many things, and though I cannot have all of it I am still being given and indulged even in part. I am not earning my keep yet I wake up in my own time and eat at my leisure in my own house. I live in luck. So a friend of mine said.

It has been two years since I last lived my life in schedule. When I had to wake up in time to go to work. When I earned my money and buy things from my own sweat and effort. Sick and tired of slaving for work I vehemently wished to be able to stop working but still live in comfort. When it came true I was elated. But now I’m not sure if it was a cruel joke meant to punish me.


Freedom is the strongest shackle in this life. This bar-less prison is the hardest place to escape from. People delude themselves into thinking that responsibility is evil and that freedom is gratifying. Freedom is absolute and pure. And it is also the biggest responsibility of all. We all want to be free from something. Our history is wrought of many struggles for freedom. Our life as well. I wanted to be free from work. I wanted to be free from my obligations. But when I finally got this freedom i was wanting for the longest time, I felt fear. Having freedom was like being given a piece of clay. I was free to mould it any way I want. But it was horrifying knowing that with the limitless possibilities also mean limitless consequences. 

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